the lyrics
1.
FIFTEEN IGUANA
On Guadalupe Island in the blue Cari-been
There are four-foot lizards, all scaly and green
Iguanas they're called and its plain as can be
That they live on the land and they don't like the sea
Scientists have wondered for a long long while
How do land creatures reach a tropical isle?
Long before airplane and long before boat
Was there a land bridge or did they just float?
Sing yo ho for the fifteen iguana
They sailed to sea though they said "we don't wanna"
Not what you'd choose, but how can you refuse
When mother nature books you on a pleasure cruise?
Nineteen ninety-five there was thunder and rain
Marilyn arrived, she was a hurricane
Lizards climbed the trees to stay safe and warm
But the trees blew to sea in the tropical storm
Who was the captain? Who was the mate?
Which scaly claws learned to navigate?
With no food and water, through weather hostile
They floated for over two hundred mile
Down on Anguilla an old lobster man
Is checking his traps just as fast as he can
He looks out to sea and how can it be?
A four foot lizard on a floating tree!
Soon iguanas landed everywhere
Customs said "What do you have to declare?"
Lizards said "This must be our fate
We declare we're gonna immigrate."
Scientists said "This may end the dispute
It proves the theory called the sweepstakes route
Old Mother Nature is a gambler indeed
When she's rolling the dice and sowing the seed."
The native iguanas on Anguilla are brown
They saw the newcomers and they started to frown
They grumbled "These greenhorns are up to no good.
I'm telling you, mon, there goes the neighborhood."
2.
I’M NOT GREEN
I’m a leaf. I work in a tree
Some days you walk by and you look up at me
What do you see? You don’t know
You just look and you go
I’ll tell you what I mean. I’m not green
I’m not green. I tell you instead
I’m fiery red. Don’t gimme no grief
Yes, I’m a leaf. Not broccoli or bean
And I’m not green
I tell you no lies. I photosynthesize
I turn sunlight into food when I’m in the mood
The work isn’t crude. It takes skill
And it takes chloryphyll
And that stuff’s all you’ve seen
Cause chloryphyll’s green
You walk by in a suit and a tie
Should I suppose you’re the color of those?
Your working clothes?
Now you see what I mean. I’m not green
All through the Spring and all through the summer
I photosynthesize in my disguise
It’s really a bummer.
It’s my desire for you to admire
My color of fire cause I’m not green
Then in the Fall when I’ve given my all
And you see my flame, there’s no one to blame
As I leap from this tree like a refugee
I’m something to see. Look at me! Look at me!
Give me a hand. I don’t care where I land
Don’t say I’m dead. I’m flying instead
Cause I’m fiery red and I just want to be seen
Cause I’m not green.
3.
REFERENCE LIBRARIAN
I walk into the room and I can feel you raise your head
I know that you’re forgetting every word that you just read
Now you come walking over like you’re some old pal of mine
Well, I’ll be glad to help you, but you’ll have to wait in line, ‘cause
I’m a reference librarian
I got that MLS
I’m the one you need to see
When your bibliography is in a mess
You’ve got a big term paper due. You better start it soon
‘Cause you just figured out its due tomorrow afternoon
You need two dozen sources on the pygmy crocodile
Let me at the keyboard, kid, and watch a master’s style
Don’t talk to the professor. She doesn’t want to hear
The graduate assistant has just trucked out for a beer
Your buddy the computer nerd ain’t gonna save your skin
He can’t get the data out even when he put it in
We got OPACs and abstracts, sudocs and CD-ROM
The microfiche you’re fingering like it’s some kind of bomb
The cold fact of the closed stacks has left your brain destroyed
Well, if we made it easy, kid, I’d end up unemployed, ‘cause
Well, I’m the reference librarian. You plagiarists confess.
Well, you can’t go off to ski because you’re flunkin’ history
If research is the key I can boost you to a B
You’ll avoid catastrophe if you put your faith in me, oh yes
When you know where to look, you don’t need to guess.
4.
OUR NEW BOSS
Well, the search committee's proud to say
they've finished their selecting
And they promise our new leader
Will be all that we're expecting
And they know we're gonna make him welcome here
When our new boss gets here
All the memos will be clear
The voice mail will sound sincere
And the coolers will pour beer
We'll line up to sing his praises
As he's handing out the raises
When our new boss gets here
When our new boss comes to town
My department head, that clown
Will be fired or forced down
When he makes verbs from a noun
And unnecessary meetings
Will be met with brutal beatings
When our new boss gets here
Well, the search committee found someone
To change our corporate culture
To the soaring of an eagle
From the flapping of a vulture
And they know we're gonna make him welcome here
When our new boss arrives
He'll bring meaning to our lives
The backstabbers drop their knives
And our husbands and our wives
Will be rich and better-looking
And agree to do the cooking
When our new boss gets here
When our new boss starts his thinking
Then the network will start linking
And the salesmen will stop drinking
Cause our products will stop stinking
And the marketing division
Will be kicked out with derision
When our new boss gets here
Well, the search committee did their best
To realize our dream
Of a leader with an iron hand
Who works best with a team
They know we're gonna make him welcome here
When our new boss shares his vision
We'll destroy the competition
It will be our holy mission
And we'll blast them to perdition
He will call them down for slaughter
As he walks across the water
When our new boss gets here
When our boss is relocated
We'll be smart and motivated
Till we find he's overrated
Like the other ones we hated
But we'll wait a day or better
Till we file a grievance letter
When our new boss gets here
And they know we're gonna make him welcome
Oh, we're gonna make him welcome
So we're gonna make him welcome here
5.
MUSIC CAMP
Well, I glide into music camp as easy as you please
In my cabin first I shed my wallet and my keys
Nothing here I need to buy ‘cept maybe a CD
And no one’s gonna steal a thing ‘cause we’re all family
Some folks sing, some folks play
others dance and cheer
And the babies grow a giant step
Each and every year
Oh, each and every year
Well, Franks’ been taking fiddle lessons. Alice wrote a song
Jack is back, first time in years and brought his kids along
Here’s the rookies looking lost, wondering where to start
There’s new faces, names and songs. We’ll learn a few by heart
There’s songs of work and war and love, and politics, God knows
Songs to make you laugh or cry or think or tap your toes
Songs as strong as medicine that heal with every tone
Booming from a bluegrass band or one brave voice alone
Spare a thought for those we love who won’t be back this year
Sing a song they wrote or played or simply loved to hear
Teach the kids the legacy of those who now are gone
Pickers come and pickers go. The music still rolls on
6.
SOUR GRAPES
You won her fair and square and there's nothing more to say
I let her feel neglected and you stole her heart away
Now's she made you happy and I recognize the glow
But there's still a thing or two you ought to know
She's got more problems than an algebra test
She's got more issues than Reader's Digest
She's got more tragedy than any Shakespeare company
And now she's gonna share 'em all with you
I hope that you're prepared to analyze your feelings
To delve down to the deepest core of your relationship
And if you come up shallow I know she's gonna follow
And tunnel down to China, I hope you like the trip
She's got more moods than a winter by the sea
She's got more arguments than daytime TV
She's got more woes than a dozen rodeos
And now she's gonna share 'em all with you
Call it sour grapes but I'm sugar sweet compared
To the bile that you'll be tasting by the time her soul is bared
I'm giving you a warning, friend, so you can get prepared
To be open, be honest, be sensitive, be scared.
She's got more pain than a plate glass window store
She's got more heartaches than a coronary ward
She's got more misery and she loves the company
And now she's gonna share 'em all with you
She's got more blues than B.B. King can pick
More hidden meanings than an Ingmar Bergman flick
But she's got less sorrow than I'm gonna have tomorrow
Cause now she's gonna share 'em all with you
Now she's gonna air 'em all
Now she's gonna bare 'em all
Now she's gonna share 'em all with you
7.
CAN I BLAME YOU?
I can’t disguise the way I feel when I’m with you
What we’re sharing must be real and oh, so true
You are much more than interestin’
And so my heart makes a suggestion
I guess it’s time to pop the question:
Can I blame you?
When the good times turn to grief
Can I blame you? Can I blame you?
When the good times turn to grief
Can I blame you?
Before the pieces fly apart
And someone breaks somebody’s heart
Tell me now right from the start
Can I blame you?
If we could work out in advance
Who takes the fall for our romance
Maybe I could take a chance
And even call you dear
Cause when the song comes to a halt
And all the honey turns to salt
It’s got to be somebody’s fault
Would you like to volunteer?
When the stink of failure lingers
Can I blame you? Can I blame you?
When it’s time for pointing fingers
Can I blame you?
When Cupid’s arrows lose direction
When every sentence gets dissection
When we split our CD collection
Can I blame you?
When our lawyers label folders
Can I blame you? Can I blame you?
You look like you’ve got broad shoulders
Can I blame you?
Now I’ve told you what’s in store
You say you can’t take anymore
Now you’re walking out the door
Well, I guess I can’t blame you.
8.
PLAN B
The love of her life, the joy of her heart
Said so long kid, we’ve drifted apart
And left her weeping into her flat
Champagne
But there was another guy, always dependable
Cheerful and sweet, very befriendable
She looked around, saw solid ground
And stepped in from the rain
He didn’t win her, another guy lost her
He’s paying back what the other guy cost her
He’s what she found on the rebound
And he calls that destiny
He thinks that he’s Grade A but he’s just Plan B
Now he sits smiling while she sits telling
About how she bought what the other guy’s selling
But now she’s closed the book on that piece of work
When she tells him the way she’s feeling
He’s so happy, he thinks she’s healing
But she’s less to say ‘bout today
Than about her long-lost jerk
He thinks he’s got everything she wants
But she’s been used to fine restaurants
He’s just junk food when she’s in the mood
Take one from Column A or just Plan B
Now you could say that she’s recovering
Where he was attentive she says he’s hovering
Where he was sensitive now she calls him a wimp
He’s still solid as any redwood
But all she sees is so much deadwood
Her friends are sure she’ll complete the cure
By falling for some new chimp
But listen and I’ll tell you true
If you know what’s good for you
Sometimes what you need to do
Is stick with Plan B
9. WHITE WOLF
Sometimes when you come to me
You’re more alive than anyone I’ve ever known
Sometimes when I go to you
I think I’m looking at a face of polished stone
Who’s in the mirror when you drop your mask?
Who hurries home after the show?
Like a white wolf running through the snow
Sometimes when you talk to me
I’m almost deafened by the words that I don’t hear
Sometimes when you’re silent
The echo of your laughter makes me shake with fear
What magic words make you disappear?
You’re at my side and then you go
Like a white wolf running through the snow
Just when I’m giving up
Ready to turn and go
You’re reaching out again
Begging me to stay
But all your promises
Are footprints in the snow
They change with every mood
And finally melt away
They melt away
Sometimes when we’re in a crowd
You see me as a stranger and that sets you free
Sometimes when we’re all alone
Are you the stranger then and I the absentee?
Is it our future that you’re running from
Or do you flee the long ago?
Like a white wolf running through the snow
10.
ADAM AND ISAAC AND EVE
Adam and Eve at play in the garden
When up walked the snake and said, I beg your pardon
But maybe you’d both like to see what I’ve got in my tree
Harvest was near so they brought all the fruit in
But one apple fell and it struck Isaac Newton
And gave him a thought of the utmost gravity
Adam and Eve and their little pet snake
Ate some green apples and got tummy-ache
And cared not a fig-leaf for what old Sir Isaac had learned
Down came the landlord who spoke with conviction
Of property damage and they faced eviction
By some grumpy angel who swore his new sword had got burned
Adam and Eve and Isaac make three
Chasing each other clear out of their tree
Who do you trust and who to believe?
Adam and Isaac and Eve
The snake had been grounded, he crawled on his belly
And promised a recipe for apple jelly
If they could just find him a way he could stay off the ground
Newton explained that the plan had a flaw
Floating on air would be breaking the law
Not one of God’s but a new one Sir Isaac had found
The snake was so mad that he hissed in defiance
A curse on religion, another on science
And swore that those two institutions would never be friends
The curse, once created, could not be resolved
Though Darwin explained that it sort of evolved
It starts with a Big Bang and God only knows how it ends
Adam’s boy Cain ran the very first city
And prob’ly the first science funding committee
With money for practical research applied to defense
Then Thomas Edison let there be light
So now you can read in the Bible at night
That gene modifying a tree is a sinful offense
But that’s the same tree that the Buddha sat under
The World Tree that Odin looked up at in wonder
Where Atlas found apples of gold and plucked one, two and three
Then Margaret Mead came to study the stories
Measure the myths and dissect all their glories
While Eve says whatever, just don’t blame the next one on me.
Only God’s chemistry set could conceive
Of Adam and Isaac and Eve
11.
NACHSHON
You all know the story of Moses, and you’ve heard about Miriam too
But there’s another hero of the Exodus whose name may not be known
to you
You can’t look him up in the Bible. He didn’t make it into those
pages
But you’ll find him written down in the Midrash, the stories of the
Jewish sages,
The water may roll away, the water may roll away
If you’ve got the courage to go I say the water may roll away
Pharoah told the people of Israel to go and not come back
Then he changed his mind and sent the army racing down their track
Moses led the people to the Red Sea shore and commanded the water to
split
He struck the waves with his staff and prayed But the sea wasn’t shifting
a bit
Moses told the people to march ahead but no one had the faith to go
down
Cause the Red Sea looked like it always had and nobody wanted to drown
Chariots rolling up over the hill the trap was beginning to pinch
Everybody crowded on that narrow beach and the sea wasn’t budging an
inch
But it was a man named Nachshon who finally made up his mind
He looked at the water in front of him and he looked at the army behind
He said “I won’t spend another day in the chains of slavery.
If this is the only choice I get, by God, I’d rather die free”
So he ran down into the water till his face had disappeared
Then the Red Sea split from North to South and the Hebrews stood and
cheered
And all the way from shore to shore as forward the people strode
It was dry as a desert road, dry as a desert road
Now maybe you face a problem, big as the whole Red Sea
Maybe the enemy’s on your trail or do they just seem to be?
If you’ve got faith then use it. If not, try courage alone
Pray like it’s all in the hands of God, but work like it’s all in your
own
12.
ROBERT CARTER III
My name is Robert Carter. I was born in old Virginia
My granddad was the richest man the colonies had known
I scorned to let my daughter wed a Washington because I said
His family's far too rough and raw to ally with my own
But when I ran for office I placed seventh out of seven
The people called me vain. By God, I had a right to be
And looking back I have no doubt of what I feel most pride about:
I had five hundred slaves and I set those people free
I used to be a Baptist once and at the worship service
I would kneel beside my brothers, free and slave, Black and White
Other owners knelt like me and held on to their property
But I could not deny the plea of what I knew was right
So I wrote out a deed of gift as fat as any hymnbook
With tables, charts and schedules for my charges' liberty
To free them all with jobs and land took many years, but understand
I had five hundred slaves and I set those people free
My neighbor Thomas Jefferson wrote in his declaration
Among the king's offenses was the transport of the slave
And yet he scarcely freed a one. It was the same with Washington
Who put them in his will at least and freed them from his grave
Now if you read their private words they knew the thing was wicked
But still the sad excuses weep through each biography
They wanted so to end it but they couldn't find a method
Well, I had five hundred slaves and I set those people free
My sons, they all despised me so for trimming their inheritance
My neighbors called it dangerous and feared a bloody raid
Yet there were those who followed me and gave their brothers liberty
But not my country's leaders, all too greedy or afraid
So why do you neglect me when you praise my generation?
Oh, give one vain and stuffy man his page in history.
There was Jefferson, the writer and Washington, the fighter
But Carter had five hundred slaves and set those people free
Oh, let that be my epitaph. It's good enough for me.
13.
HOME
In a great train of wagons my family went west
My husband was eager so I did my best
To show I was happy like all of the rest
But really, I hungered for home
In Oregon country we settled at last
We worked on our claim there and time went so fast
Building a future I dreamed of the past
Wishing we all could go home, home
Home isn't home
Though you live there for years
Till you've watered the land
With enough of your tears
Till you've watered the land with your tears
We worked through the seasons, we worked night and day
To grow a few crops and to make the land pay
My children believed there was no better way
But I missed the comforts of home, home
The autumn was rainy, the winter was mild
Then early in April a fever ran wild
And soon that green land held the grave of my child
I couldn't leave then, it was home, home
So this is the place where our story is told
The laughter and sorrow, the drought and the cold
Where our children grow up and their parents grow old
This is the family home, home
14.
BUNKIN’ IN THE BUNGALOW
My grandfather built that house
Named for his daughter and his spouse
Where the inland waterway
Rolls to Barnegat Bay
Built It by the big lagoon
Where the wild mosquitoes croon
And fresh tomatoes grace your plate
In the Garden State
Summer on the Jersey shore
Waking up to a motor boat roar
Your backyard's a canal, you know
When you're bunkin' in the bungalow
By bike it was an easy reach
To the boardwalk or the beach
I never got enough of each
Or left without complaint
On rainy days we always played
At 20 questions or charades
Or else canasta, or charades
My mother was a saint.
The upstairs had no rooms at all
Just ten beds and curtain wall
When cousins came we'd fill 'em all
And pack the kids in tight
My favorite bed was not up there
It was on the porch in the open air
Where birds and crickets every night
Would sing for my delight.
My mother says that long ago
They’d flip a boat and hide below
Then down that long canal they’d go
Singing in the dark
We sold that house and drove away
Even the grown-ups cried that day
Summers go but memories stay
Like pine trees in the park
15.
THE WEIGHT OF GOLD
As a red-haired girl she worked for Thomas Edison.
Then her Protestant husband gave her folks a shock.
But he built the house where they would raise a family,
And I must say he built on solid rock.
The daughter of that household was my mother.
She married and she raised four children there.
I only once recall my Grandma walking.
Arthritis put her in a wheel chair.
And she’d say I’m just a burden on my family.
It’s hard to be so helpless and so old.
But Grandma, you never were a burden.
Who complains about the weight of gold?
I recall that night when she was babysitting.
We heard a crash out somewhere in the dark.
My sister couldn’t get the front door open
And through the window I could see a spark.
But Grandma wheeled in and calmed us right down.
She called the police station on the phone.
The cops arrived and told us of the tree that hit our house.
We weren’t scared, ‘cause we were not alone.
On Wednesdays I’d come home from school and find them:
Ten gray-haired women, her card-playing crowd.
I’d run up and kiss that red-haired lady.
The way she smiled always made me proud.
I was fifteen when they took her to the hospital;
The first time I’d been in that house alone.
I thought it wasn’t fair that they didn’t dye her hair.
She’d have slammed that coffin lid if she had known.
My daughter Susie never met my Grandma,
But she plays canasta, Grandma’s favorite game.
And she’s heard me sing her silly song, McSorley’s Twins,
And I hope she’s proud to bear the lady’s name.
There’s treasure in the life you led, the stories that you told,
And who complains about the weight of gold?
16.
MY DAD AND ME
My Dad took me to a Yankees game
My Dad took me to a Yankees game
Baseball’s not my middle name
But I had a great time, just the same
Cause Dad took me to a Yankees game
My Dad took me on a ferry boat
My Dad took me on a ferry boat
Wind was cold so he zipped my coat
I was happy to be afloat
Cause Dad took me on a ferry boat
Anywhere, I don’t care
Long as me and my Dad go there
County fair, Strike and Spare
Anywhere that we can share
My Dad took me to a movie show
My Dad took me to a movie show
Lots of kissing, I don’t know
But I had a great time, even so
Cause Dad took me to a movie show
My Dad took me to a restaurant
My Dad took me to a restaurant
Said I could have anything I want
A turkey sandwich with gravy on it
That’s what I want in a restaurant
Anywhere, I don’t care
Long as me and my Dad go there
County fair, or Allaire
Anywhere that we can share
My Dad took me to a circus, too
My Dad took me to a circus, too
Lions and bears and a kangaroo
But Pop, the best part’s being with you
Dad took me to a circus too
17.
YOU SPOIL ME
Well, I love you. You know that's true
And that will never come to a halt
But love's not blind so if you don't mind
I'd like to tell you all about your biggest fault
You spoil me with every look
You spoil me. That’s all it took
There's just no chance some other glance
Could make me turn away from this romance
You spoil me for other folks
You spoil me. You laugh at my jokes
You spoil me so I just don't know
How anyone could take your place
If you should go
You spoil me with every kiss
You spoil me. It's come to this
From every touch I'm getting such
A feeling so appealing that means so much
You spoil me. It's just not right
You spoil me. Every day and every night
You spoil me rotten. It's like I've gotten
A touch of silk and I’m through with cotton
Now you ask me why should it be
That spoiling makes me grumble and pout
But listen here It’s very clear
You left me nothing else to complain about
You spoil me. You know it's true
You spoil me. What can I do?
Unless I'm dense in self-defense
I'll have to spoil you too.
18.
TAKE A BOX
Take a box, an ordinary box. Listen, listen.
Take a box, an ordinary box. Listen to what I say.
Take a shadow, stick it in the box.
Close the lid & buy some locks
And that will be one less shadow, blocking out the light of day.
Take a tune. an ordinary tune. Listen, listen.
Take a tune, an ordinary tune. Listen to what I say.
Take a sorrow, hang it on that tune.
Step outside & sing it to the moon
And that will be less sorrow turning all your colors gray.
Take a friend, an ordinary friend. Listen, listen.
Take a friend, an ordinary friend. Listen to what I say.
Take a worry, share it with a friend.
Stretch it out between you and you’ll break it in the end
And that will be one less worry, trying to get in your way